Kittens are so cute with their big eyes and their soft little meows. And we love to cuddle them to death when they are that young. It is actually a sleezy little trick which Mother Nature loves to pull on us. Everything young has big eyes, and a big head compared to the rest of their body. This includes kittens, puppies and even babies. And the reaction we are programmed to give is: “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”, which we gladly do of course ;) It insures that we will not take advantage of something so small and helpless, and will even want to take care of it, aka the mothering instinct we all possess (even men :P)

Unfortunately, this feeling also often leads to people only wanting kittens, while maybe an adult cat would better suit their needs, and also to people wanting their kittens in the house as young as possible, which is not necessarily in everyone’s best interest. So what is too young? In the Netherlands, the law says that a kitten has to be at least 7 weeks of age before it gets separated from the mother. And I would agree that 6 weeks or younger is way too early (compare it to taking a child away from its parents at the age of 12 to live on his own) But this also beckons the question: what is the ideal age for a kitten to go to their new home?

Even for experts, this is a tough cookie. And there are no right answers…at least not in general. What I mean is, every case is different, and every situation is different. Therefore, one needs to consider the context before deciding. What the hell am I going on about? Well, here it is:

When a kitty is born, it spends the first two weeks eating and sleeping. But after that, the first socialization period sets in. From about 3 to 7 weeks, the kittens are like sponges and should be exposed to all the things they will have in their future lives. Their curiosity at this period is insatiable and well…makes them reckless. Concretely, this means that they should be handled frequently and carefully by as many people as possible. This will ensure them to respond favorably to humans later on. Dogs, rabbits, birds, cars and other typical things are also a good idea. If this is all handled properly, you will have a well-adjusted kitten later on.

Now, after 7 weeks, the flight-response sets in. They learn to be more careful around new things and basically choose the highway if anything is too risky (this also depends immensely on the behavior the mother displays in that particular situation). Change becomes stressful to them. It is important to keep up the socialization process from the first weeks at this point and the exposure to other cats, dogs, humans etc should continue.

This is the reason that a lot of people as well as experts consider 7-8 weeks the best time to place a kitten in a new home. At this point the kitten has not developed the flight-response just yet, and will easily adapt to its new home with the minimal amount of fuss.

Around 9 weeks however the second stage of socialization begins and another important stage in the education is reached: play-time, which is at its highest at this time. And it is important to realize that this is essential in a kitten’s education. If this stage is handled properly, you will prevent a lot of future behavioral problems. Why? Because a kitten learns ‘cat etiquette’ this way. It learns to hunt and coordinate its moves. But most importantly, it learns what certain cat behaviors mean, and how it should be handled. From this age onwards, kittens do not play in group anymore, but in pairs. They mimic fighting, and gesturing. They learn from each other what the boundaries are, and what other cats expect from them. Also, by that age they have had all the necessary shots from the vet and most breeders will also chip their kittens. So you are all set to get a great start with your kitten.

This is why many breeders will insist on their kittens staying with their mother until 13 weeks or even 16 weeks of age. In the wild, kittens are weaned at 16 weeks of age, and are considered able to take care of themselves. Studies have also shown that kittens that have been socialized well during the two stages of socialization will have far less behavioral problems in the future and especially between 4 to 7 months.

However, the big disadvantage of placing kittens in a new home at this age is that they are already attached to the home they are at. Also, they do not respond so well to change anymore as before. Therefore, it might take the kitten a little longer to adjust to the new surroundings and also to other inhabitants (dogs, other cats, kids), though this is usually still less of a problem than you would have with an adult cat.

So how do you decide when to adopt your kitten? Let’s look at some examples:

Say you take a kitten away at the age of 7 weeks and place it with people that have never had cats before, live in an apartment without a garden and work all day. They come home and the kitten is hyper with energy because it has no one else to vent this energy with. Also, they play with the kitten by using their hands because they do not know this is bad. The result will be a fully grown adult that hunts their ankles and hands and is labeled aggressive for expressing his hunting instinct in the way he was taught as a kitten. The final result? The shelter or worse, death.

Let’s back up. Why does this happen? Because, if the kitten were to still have been with its mother and siblings, his siblings would have taught by meowing and whacking him back, that what he is doing is painful, and he should tone it down. Also, his mother would have taught him the same by punishing him for biting her nipples or in general when he is being too hyper. Add that to the fact that the new owners taught their cat in their ignorance that biting in skin is fun (which he was allowed to do as a kitten), and they are never home, nor did they provide him with a friend to take out his excess energy on and teach him some social manners…and you get a socially awkward cat who is wrongly labeled as dangerous.

Example nr 2:
One of your friends has had a litter of kitties and has promised you one. She starts giving them away at a young age, and also, since she is not really up to date with the whole socialization procedure, does not expose them to anything. On top of that, the mother cat is a stray who doesn’t really like people.

If you adopt one at 14 weeks, the result will most likely be that a) you don’t have a kitty to get because she didn’t want to hang on to it that long (or she grew attached to it and wants to keep it herself), b) you get your kitty, but the kitten doesn’t let you hold it. In fact, she spends an entire two weeks under the closet, and only comes out for food. And the combination with your dog is a nightmare although she reassured you that a kitten and a dog usually work well together.

So why is this the case? Well, first off, your friend probably didn’t handle the kittens enough and didn’t have enough other people over to get them used to humans. Second, the kittens are likely to copy the behavior of the mother, who wasn’t too fond of humans herself. Third, your kitten was never exposed to dogs, and being more than 7 weeks old, has learned from its very protective mother that new things are to be considered dangerous. Chances are that your cat will never be a lap cat and will spend most of her time outdoors or in a hidden corner.

So what is the right way to go about it? Adopt the kitten at the age of 7 or 8. And, if you do work all day, get a second one while you can. This way, they can tire each other out, and they can learn cat etiquette from each other. If you already have another cat (which is younger than 10! If older, please get either two kittens or none, coz the poor senior cat won’t know what hit her), the other cat can teach your kitten the rules.

Word of caution: If you do neither and the kitten hits it off with the dog, you will get a cat-like dog. Meaning your cat will learn dog-like behavior which can be quite intriguing to witness and can give interesting ‘behavioral problems’ (such as only wanting to eat dog food, which does not contain enough nutrients for a cat)

Make sure you have some free time to teach the kitten different things: cats, dogs, birds, rabbits, trips in the car, trips to the vet, etc etc. Also, once the kitty is at ease in the home, move some stuff about, buy some new furniture, anything that ‘changes’ his environment, so kitty learns not to be stressed out when these things happen.

In short: look at the situation, yours as well as the kittens. If you know that the kitten will be socialized better than you ever could if he stays at the breeder’s just a little longer, then have the patience. It is well worth it. If you are willing to put the time and energy into socializing him yourself, or you suspect that the current owner is doing worse than you would, adopt them before they enter their 9th week. It will save you a lot of future hassle, trust me ;)